Bitterness and Fear

Not exactly the things I like to think about. Having a faint nudging that perhaps I am still afraid, still bitter. What? Haven’t I let go of that? I was fine for two whole weeks. But things are coming back, maybe not in specifics, but in broader terms.

Will I be able to take anyone’s words seriously ever again? Will I be able to learn trust after feeling defrauded, lied to, tricked, played? Does this mean I haven’t been able to forgive? Does this mean I’m still bitter?

It scares me that I’m afraid of trusting people in the same way again, of opening up, of committing.