On the plane from Zurich to Chicago,

I watched “Another Earth.” The themes in that movie echoed what I was feeling then, and to some extent, what I’m feeling now also. Regret. Much regret. What she regretted was her naïveté, her choices, her carelessness. I think themes like these hit me hardest. “Nuovo Cinema Paradiso” was that way also: making mistakes, foolish choices, though perhaps they were inevitable, and having to live your life afterward, thinking about what could have been, what might have been, what might be still if something did or didn’t happen or if you’d made this choice or that one. I sat for hours afterward, staring outside at the frozen sunset as we sped westward over thick blankets of cloud tipped peach and gold by the sun, pondering about Rome, about living, and working, and loving perhaps.

But it’s good to be home at last. It’s good to remember that in my deepest longings, my cries to be accepted, my dreams of being valued and cherished and cared for is, after all, the achings You’ve put inside of me, leading me to the real answer to my needs and desires, leading me home to You. It’s homesickness. It’s my need for You, and You are the answer. It’s so simple, but why can’t I understand that you offer so much more joy, satisfaction, and steadfastness than anything else can offer?